


Pillow Talk

by ultimateparadox



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Humor, Language, Soft Felix Hugo Fraldarius, new relationships, references to vomiting, responsible drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24272461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimateparadox/pseuds/ultimateparadox
Summary: Being Felix is suffering.
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	Pillow Talk

It had been a joke. It was stupid, and Felix hated it, but he wasn't going to be a wasteful shit and throw out Sylvain's gag gift just because he'd zipped the body pillow up in a half-naked, big-breasted anime girl case. He kept it in the back of his closet, hidden behind shirts that were black or blue so dark they should have been black, safely tucked out of sight and out of mind.

Dating Annette had not been a joke, not from the start and certainly not now. The relationship was still fresh and he liked his little songbird a lot. He'd long since jumped that terrifying chasm between casual and active commitment, but the fragile wings of their relationship were still so frighteningly close to his sharp and ragged edges. He had no desire to clip them by mistake. 

That was why it was somewhat of a risk to bring Annette to his apartment after celebrating her promotion at the pâtisserie. It had taken a few drinks just to soothe the stiff disbelief from her features, as if anyone within her radius hadn't seen her managing the workload of half the staff. Felix, nursing a seltzer water, had tried not to laugh at the way her stunned nerves had melted to jubilant cheers against the bar’s thrumming bass. It had been a shining moment of revelry that she’d earned, and in the aftermath with a lurching, giggling girlfriend in his arms, it was his turn to be the nervous one.

It wasn't the first time Annette had been at Felix's apartment. She'd been over a handful of times, charmed to death by his cat (formally named Sam by his rightful owner and affectionately named Spamalot, Bean Boy, and Salmon Simp by their esteemed guest), and hadn't batted an eye at the few swords he had on display as decoration. It was, however, the first time she would be staying the night, and Felix needed to put his bedroom in order for her posthaste.

"Stay here," he instructed, lowering Annette onto the couch. "I'll get you some water and then make the bed."

If Annette was trying to stifle her chuckling, she was failing. Her thin fingers clumsily traced his hip bone from front to ass, which she appreciated with a pinch. "Thassa good idea! Gosh, you're smart."

Felix grabbed the throw blanket off the back of his couch and bundled her in. "You're smarter. Wait here."

"Thank yooooouuuuu!"

His neighbors were going to be pissed. Annette, in his totally unbiased and clearly objective opinion, was cute, however, and Felix couldn't bring himself to give a shit. He delivered her one of his water bottles with a flip up straw that he bought for the gym, figuring it was the closest and most adult item he had that resembled a sippy cup, and then made haste for his bedroom.

Tidying up a bed wasn't a huge chore for Felix. Some days were hurried and he didn't always make it in the morning, but he was a creature of discipline and kept his space pristine and put together more often than not. That said, Annette deserved clean sheets, so he tossed his pillows to the floor and stripped the mattress. The bundle of bedding was taken across the hall to the closet that contained his hamper. Cramming the blankets in, his ears caught a foreboding sound.

It was wet and repetitive, a sound Felix and any cat owner would be extremely familiar with. "Sam!" Felix hissed, lunging back into the bedroom. On normal days, he liked waking up to an orb of tabby cat curled up in his pillows. On nights with a beautiful girl just a hall away, Felix did not enjoy seeing Sam on his haphazard pillow pile, throat jerking as the hairball forced its way up. "Don't don't don't—"

The hurking sound Sam made as he ejected the hairball and spit and bile over his pillows made his stomach churn. The cat stepped off and out like he hadn't just yarfed all over Felix's short term hopes and dreams, wandering away to the living room if Annette's squeal of delight was any indication.

"Feeelix! Izza boy of beans! C'mere, Bean Boy Supreme!"

Bean Boy Supreme was going to be bedroom banned for the next month. "Keep an eye on him, Annie," he called out, kneeling beside the mess in hope of finding something salvageable. Of the three pillows he had, one had been protected under the bulk of the two that Sam had ruined. Felix hauled the victims out to his hamper to deal with in the morning. He had a spare case he could fit over the survivor, and hopefully Annette could handle sleeping on one pillow for a night.

Back in his room, he scrounged into the depths of his closet for his extra sheets and pillow case, and he saw It. Sylvain called It a her, but Felix knew with all his being that the pillow was an it.

As Felix stared into the abyss of his closet, a massive pair of anime titties stared back into him.

He ignored them, setting himself up for the challenge of fighting the fitted sheet in place. He slid the pillow into its new case and placed it at the head of the bed, praying it didn't look like a full-sized version of a college dorm's plain twin. 

Footsteps padded down the hall and Felix turned his head to see Annette shuffle in, throw blanket wrapped like a cape around her shoulders, clutching the water bottle like a precious treasure instead of something plastic he'd bought at Target. Sam, the worst villain of Felix's story, followed at her heels. He could see in her eyes that her excited, happy demeanor was clouded over with drowsiness, and she asked, "Issit sleep?"

"Time for sleep," he agreed, patting the bed.

She glanced at the bed for a long moment as if she were trying to compute something, then at him. "Pillow?"

"...yes?"

"Yours?"

"That's your pillow, Annie."

"...but where's yours?"

Felix was going to make due without one, to be honest. As a boy, sleepovers at Sylvain's had left him constantly without one as his stupid, idiot best friend was a soporific pillow hog (and hadn’t that been half the reason Sylvain had given him It, like some kind of backhanded apology years after), but Felix made sure he stole all the blankets in retaliation. After college, Felix had indulged in pillows as a treat to himself, but he could go one more night without so long as Annette could rest her head.

"Don't worry about it," he assured her, leaning over to grab her elbow and corral her to the bed.

It must have been the wrong thing to say, because Annette's lips pursed and she frowned at him, resisting his lead. "Men."

"Come again?"

"Always thinkin' you gotta do things the hard way," she clarified as best she could with a tongue slowed by ultra-fruity mixed drinks. "Don'cha have more th' one pillow?"

"Annette—"

She marched over to his closet, abandoning the throw blanket to pool dramatically on the carpet, and spread his hanging shirts like the Red Sea. The bruise-like coloring of his wardrobe had ceased to be embarrassing, and 99.9% of Felix's home was nothing to hide, but knowing It was there and that Annette was one hangar slide away from revealing the worst thing Felix had seen in his entire life made his soul leave his body.

_Fwip._

"There's another pillow righ' here!"

Felix pleaded for a higher power to end him.

It was pulled from the closet and tucked under Annette's arm like It didn't weigh as much as a thousand bricks on his dick. She flung herself into the bed, adamantly shoving Felix's lonely pillow to the side, presumably for him, and latched her limbs along the length of the body pillow like a hungry octopus. After a pause, she grumbled and pat the bed at him this time. "Fewix...cuddle…!"

With great trepidation, Felix slid out of his jeans and into the bed beside her, pulling up the dark sheets and comforter around them. Annette hummed happily, her voice as melodic and magnetic drunk and sleepy as it was when they first met under decidedly more sober circumstances, and Felix slowly relaxed his front against her back, looping an arm over her side, and, consequently, the body pillow. He glared at the anime girl's coy smile over Annette's head, fabric lips pressed into her hair, and loathed the nightmare that would be waking. He fell asleep, head cradled by his own pillow, but he wouldn't be able to say when.

Felix woke to tiny, kneading pinpricks in his side. For a moment he wondered why Sam was nestled at his hip rather than purring near his head, but then he remembered just how much trouble he and his cat were in. Eyes flying open, Felix levered himself up on one arm with painstaking caution not to wake Annette, who was sleeping the morning away like the dead, face buried in Its cleavage.

He extracted himself from the bed, shooed Sam away, found his pants, and quietly entered the hallway. Gathering all his filthy bedding and pillows, he made a quick trek down two flights of stairs to the laundry room before re-entering to start a greasy breakfast he hoped Annette's hangover would appreciate. On the counter he set a little rattling bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water (in a real glass, like the adults they were). Hopefully, she would have mercy on him after seeing just how dutiful he was a boyfriend and not as an assumed weird deviant.

Over the popping of the bacon sizzling in the pan, he heard the zombie-like stumble of a person coming down his hallway. There was a pitstop at the bathroom accompanied by a groan over the rush of water from the sink before Annette finally appeared at the kitchen's doorway.

"Good morning," Felix greeted.

"Don't look at me," Annette groused, sliding into a chair at his small table. "I look like something Sammy Salmon spat up."

"Sam ruined most of my pillows last night, actually."

Annette squinted at him as though struggling to piece together what she remembered from the night previous and her creaking knowledge of the morning. To give himself just a few moments more of pretending to be dignified, he handed over his medicine and water offerings before returning to the bacon. 

Things were quiet after Annette gratefully popped the tablets, enough where, washed in the golden light of morning, he thought it was peaceful. It was the kind of morning he could see himself having every day of his life. It was such a warm, welcoming, gushy feeling that Felix hardly recognized it.

Annette held that harmonious morning bubble and crashed it on his kitchen tile. "I'm not going to say this is the first time I've woken up with boobs in my face, but I can't say I expected it to happen at my boyfriend's apartment."

Felix lifted the pan off the heat with a jerking motion. The bacon and grease would have flown everywhere if his hard-practiced self control had been anything less than flawless. 

"I did not buy that thing," Felix declared adamantly. "It lives in the back of the closet and It was never supposed to see the light of day again."

"Whoops," Annette laughed. "She's very comfortable, if it's any consolation."

"It's not. Also, It's an it. Maybe I'll re-gift It back to Sylvain and then smudge my house like in the ghost shows."

"Ah, I love ghost shows. We should watch them between true crime binges."

Conversation steering back into comfortable waters, Felix was glad that he had survived in better shape than anticipated. Perhaps he was actually dating an angel. "Why do women enjoy true crime so much?"

"C'mon, as if you don't."

"You're right, I really do. Are you going to start singing little nursery tunes about ghouls and goblins, or maybe knives and stabbings?"

Annette stuck her tongue out at him. "Not a chance!" Felix would bet actual, real money that if she got distracted enough during the binges she herself suggested there would most definitely be a very charming, sunny tune about dark, horrible things that he would have to bite his cheek hard not to laugh at.

The chair squeaked on the floor as Annette walked over to where he was plating the bacon. She leaned into his back, face pressed between his shoulder blades, feeling her way up from his hips, half of her fingers playing with his belt loops, the others drumming around his navel. Sliding up his ribs, Felix felt the gentle scrape of her nails. Finally, with a hearty slap, Annette clapped her hands onto Felix's chest and he grunted.

"While I appreciate the softness of your anime girlfriend, next time I think I wanna wake up to _these_ in my face, if that's okay."

**Author's Note:**

> I have an anime body pillow. It's Saber Fate/stay Night.


End file.
